


Not A Statue

by TourmalineQueen



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Dragon Age Kiss Battle, F/M, Gen, crack!ship pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 19:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3300281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/pseuds/TourmalineQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: Cullen/Shale, <i>Decorations for the midsummer festival in Honnleath</i> at the Dragon AGe Kiss Battle, here: http://owlmoose.dreamwidth.org/701955.html?view=3020803&posted=1#cmt3020803</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Statue

"Alistair _did_ say that he'd send us an envoy from the Hero of Ferelden, someone who would come in very handy in a fight," Josephine said, trying not to stare at the massive form in the great hall.

Cullen forced his mouth shut, swallowed hard, rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes and looked again. "It's a statue. _The_ statue from the middle of Honnleath village square," he said, disbelief in his voice. "I used to _play_ on that statue. _How_ is it here?"

" _She_ , Commander," Leliana had silently joined them. "Shale is a she, and a former member of the Inquisitor's House, hundreds of years ago."

Cullen swung his gaze from the statue (talking animatedly with the Inquisitor) to Leliana and back again. "But statues don't move," he said, sounding plaintive.

Leliana chuckled. "With all the unbelievable things you've seen in your life, Commander, is a statue - a _golem_ \- that walks and talks and is our Inquisitor's great-great-I-don't-know-how-many-times-great-grand-aunt truly the least believable? Personally, I would have expected you to have more trouble believing a Dwarf to be Andraste's Herald," she said with a small, wry smile.

"Golem. I - I remember First Enchanter Irving talking about golems, once. In a _history_ lesson. I - oh, _Maker_ , I used to climb all over her!" Cullen's face turned bloodless, except for the telltale pinkness of mortification around his ears.

His exclamation had caught Shale's attention, and the golem strode over to the three advisors. She held out a massive stone hand to Josephine, who shook it as delicately as she would the most important Orlesian noblewoman. Shale greeted Leliana with, "I simply _must_ tell you about the shoes I saw-" but interrupted herself when she caught sight of Cullen attempting to be unobtrusive, and still clanking in his armour.

"I remember it- _you_ from the damnable green. You chased the pigeons. You cleaned their muck off my face. You-"

"Cullen Stanton Rutherford," Cullen managed not to stumble over his own name. "I - I never knew you were a-alive. I feel as though I ought to apologise for using you as a climbing frame when I was a lad," he added, rubbing the back of his neck, and blushing.

Somehow, and Cullen wasn't sure how, given that her face was stone and therefore expressionless, Shale looked delighted. "It- _you_ , I keep forgetting that squishy beings prefer personal pronouns, sorry, - you were my first kiss!"

Leliana clapped a hand over her mouth, but that didn't hide her delighted laughter, while Josephine snorted and giggled madly, complaining about her watering eyes spoiling her makeup.

"There was a _story_. A - a _fable_ ," Cullen protested, "that true love's kiss would waken the beautiful maiden from her stone slumber. At midsummer. I - I was elected to hang the bunting. It was a _dare_ ," he hissed at his fellow advisors.

"I wouldn't mind if it tried again," Shale said, somehow managing to sound coy and - pun not intended - gravelly at the same time.

At that moment, Cullen was suddenly very aware of how public they were, and how many heads were turned in their direction. Varric was writing as fast as he could, leaning against the Inquisitor's throne. Cullen turned once more to tthe statue - the golem - _Shale_ , he corrected himself, and bowed, extending a hand towards her. Shale placed her massive stone hand atop his open hand (someone had taught her about romance, it seemed) and he kissed her knuckle, like a knight-errant of old (or at least where he approximated her knuckle should be).

The room behind him began to slowly clap, a chant of _kiss_ , _kiss_ , _kiss_ beginning while Cullen fumbled for a footstool or crate to stand on. Shale leaned forward, Cullen wrapped his arms about her neck, and, much as he had as a lad, leaned in and kissed the golem's lipless mouth. THe golem remained a creature of stone, but the room erupted in cheers anyway.

"You just tell me if the birds bother you," he murmured quietly, and Shale shook beneath him in a quiet laugh. "And, for the record, that one was _not_ a dare."


End file.
